Monday, August 12, 2013

Call me maybe or call me Sybil, my five personalities

Mom Slipper- Personality 1
I work in a  middle management position in a department store, selling luxury merchandise. You sure as hell couldn't tell by my feet.

Good morning! Today I am wearing my Mom shoes and personality. I make breakfast for my kids, or at least throw some Eggo waffles in the toaster. I tend to be a little cranky, don't often brush my hair and pretend it is okay to go grocery shopping without washing my face or brushing my teeth and hair as long as I wear sunglasses and yoga pants.
Weekend Warrior-Personality 2
This is my look when I am acting like I am really getting into shape and going for my 3 mile walk. I usually have miss matched socks, which stems from the mountain of laundry that needs to be folded sitting on my dining room table (or maybe my kitchen, they are both one and the same) . I feel happy, I love the outdoors, I'm a little sweaty but comfortable. I still think it is okay to greet people at the local post office, or fellow dog walkers with un brushed hair and teeth, and I still hide behind sunglasses. I think I look fit and can still go without make-up. When I get back from my walk and look in the mirror a gasp emits from my mouth because I seem surprised to see who is looking back at me, at least until I turn down the dimmer.

Executive with a mission-Personality 3
Ouch, pointy toes and heels. But here is the look I can hide behind the best. No sunglasses needed, I hide behind a black business suit. Jacket buttoned, plain beige shirt beneath and a pencil skirt. All business. My direct eye contact, and strong handshake and big smile only goes on with foundation, eyeliner, lip gloss and my black suit. I've got myself and everyone else fooled. By the way, I had to photo shop out the veins in my feet.

Still Sexy Fashionista- Personality 4
 This is when I think I am still awesome enough to wear 4 inch heels and platforms and I want to show my friends that I know and wear the latest fashion trends. Better than the executive look because the toe is open, it still sucks when I walk because my feet clunk down as if they are not truly attached to my feet.Therefore when I am my "Still Sexy Fashionista" self I try to sit down for the majority of the time. However there was a study done in the UK that women wear high heels as part of evolution, and I guess if you wear high heels, your DNA continues, and if you don't wear high heels, your lineage will come to a screeching halt. I don't wear high heels often, only when I am displaying personality #3, because I believe it will help make me appear more important than I really am. If it fools me, maybe it will fool everyone else.

This is really me-Personality 5

If you could see my hands, you would know that I am holding a cold glass of wine, or vodka lemonade in my kicked back state of mind. Still un-showered, but now with my teeth brushed, I am happiest and whole. Veins and all in my flip flops.  

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